My friend and commiserator in attracting creepers, Lacey, had a friend that wanted to set her up. She hates being set up, but equally hates being single, so she agreed if she could bring me and thus it be a double blind date.
I really "appreciated" this, as she set this all up before talking to me. As this was early in our friendship, she didn't know how I attract creepers and that I have a strict no blind dates rule. (By strict, I mean I follow it loosely. Sometimes that free dinner is just too good to pass up.) Since she already set it all up, I begrudgingly agreed to go.
We sat in the restaurant for 20 minutes waiting for the supposed firemen to show up. We almost left when two guys wearing matching acid washed jean jackets walked in, but luckily they seemed to be on a date with each other.
When they finally showed (after we'd been sitting at our table for enough time for us both to down a glass of wine each), we discovered all the ways we had been deceived. 1) Neither were firemen. One of them talked about how he'd like to be a fireman, but didn't seem to be actively pursuing that. I believe my date was a low man on the totem pole at an oil change stop. 2) Neither of them seemed to possess personalities.
Lacey and I are quite hilarious, really. I mean, alone we're a good time. Put us together and we are basically a high class comedy act. We're quite humble about it, too. We were pulling out some of our best stuff that night, too. Especially aided by the now 2 or more glasses of wine. At one point, our waiter was having such a good time, he stayed at our table laughing with us for at least 10 minutes.
Those boys, Brandton and Dale, never even cracked what could be interpreted as a smile. I distinctly remember, when explaining to Brandton that my car's name is Lola--she used to be a "prostitute" (aka rental car)--he looked at me and said, "I don't get it." I'm not sure where the complexity of that joke comes in. I believe it was then that Lacey and I took a trip to the bathroom to discuss our options.
The best part, though, was that this was the one time I didn't attract the creeper! About 30 minutes after arriving home from this pitiful excuse for a blind date, Lacey called to tell me that my date, Brandton, had gotten her number from Dale and called her. Apparently Dale wasn't into either of us. So I was off the hook, Lacey had to turn down the robot that was my date, and we got some free Italian.
Not too bad of a blind date, in my book.
